November 2008
6 posts
Florida Boy Arrested For Gas Attack →
STUART - A 12-year-old student was arrested after deliberately and repeatedly “breaking wind” in class. If this crime is grounds for imprisonment, then I know more than a few people who should have already received an ironic death sentence in the gas chamber.
Mystery Blow-Dart Attacks Investigated →
ST. PETERSBURG - Someone is sneaking around St. Petersburg, blowing darts at unsuspecting civilians. I know — stealt, tribal-like blow-dart attacks? What state are we in, Florida?!?!
Astronaut Who Lost Tool Bag Admits Mistake →
CAPE CANAVERAL - We live in one of the only states that has an industry in which employees are forced to admit follies they made in outer space (at work) to The Associated Press.
More cockroaches expected in Florida →
ORLANDO - The 5-inch Madagascar hissing cockroach could inadvertently be released into our backyards and homes by Florida reptile fanatics. Be sure to thank your neighbor with trucks parked on the front lawn and snake cages on the porch. News tip from Anthony.
FL High School Retains Possible Klan Leader's Name →
JACKSONVILLE - School board members vote 5-2 to retain the name of Nathan Bedford Forrest High School. While the actual role of Nathan Bedford Forrest in the Klan is disputed (a Congressional investigation says he had no ties and his name was used without permission, for what that’s worth), we still live in a state that names schools after vague historical figures.
Space Junk Could Strike Earth →
ORLANDO - leave it to none other than Florida’s own ‘space program’ to accidentally drop a refrigerator-sized tank on earth.